I'll start when you say Go
by Ryta-chan
Summary: So, Miku doesn't really have the good life yet. Well, this kinda seems to be the highest point in her life right now, but all she can do watch the days go by. It's bad enough she isn't getting what she thought she would, but now, thanks to a certain individual, it appears her life is only just getting started.
1. Chapter 1

"Alright class," The teacher piped up," I'll hand you back your latest test marks." As she walked past rows and handed out tests, a particular blue-haired girl buried her face into her crossed arms. She hoped that the teacher would walk right past her and completely forget of her existence, but even though that seemed an easy enough task to fulfill, the teacher would automatically march towards her with her test. But there was no point in worrying anymore, she had failed this test like every other test she'd ever been given. Sometimes, she even wondered how she got this far in life.

"I'd like it if you tried harder next, Ms. Hatsune." The teacher said as she handed Miku her test back.

As much as Miku wanted to shield her eyes, she couldn't find it in herself to look away. On the test paper written in standard red ink was 32%.

"Better than last time." Miku thought to herself. Without realizing it, Miku was holding her page at an angle that gave her desk neighbor the luxury of a easy peek at her test paper. He gave himself away by snickering. Miku spun her head towards him, but she realized she was too late and couldn't do anything about it now.

"_Here it goes again."_

"So what did Hatsune get?" The boy beside Miku's desk neighbor loudly whispered.

"32!" Her desk neighbor bellowed whilst snorting.

The two boys laughed loud enough to catch the attention of a few more people in the class.

Miku was now beyond face-burying and had herself curled up in an uncomfortable ball in her desk.

"She doesn't even try to hide her marks anymore." One girl remarked.

Soon, the laughter died down and the class was back to normal.

"It's always been like this, I'm always a form of entertainment to these people. But they don't even know my name, and they just call me 'Hatsune'. I bet Utaki-sensei doesn't even know my name. Even though the saying goes, 'no two people are the same' I truly believe the world is made from endless copies."

"_**Endless copies that hate me."**_

As everyone took notes from the board, Miku looked around the classroom without anything better to do. The two boys that were laughing at her earlier were jotting down the notes, and the girls in front of her were talking and taking notes at the same time.

Miku sat at the back on the class, but to her partial disappointment, she didn't sit in a corner. She was beside the person who sat at the right back corner of the room. The person was a guy with very dark hair with enormous bags under his eyes. He never took down notes of any kind and he still received high marks, which made Miku despise him. All he ever did in class was draw and all he ever drew were intricate doodles of weapons and not like shurikens and katanas, he was drawing AK-47s and Double Barrels.

Miku remembered how she was had her textbook stolen and so she had to share with the boy. Reluctantly he let her share but between the irritating sound his pencil made as he drew and his nearly silent but annoying tapping of his feet against the floor, Miku was more than turned off.

Everyone in class was divided into small unacknowledged groups. The girls who would wear should skirts and tube socks sat at the right middle, the skirt-chasers and players would sit at the middle left, and the nerds, along with the ones who were concerned about their failing grades sat at the front.

And then there were the leftovers. The leftovers consisted of Miku, the boy with the doodles, the two snarky guys who had just made fun of Miku and a couple that were overly in love with each other. No matter how she looked at it, Miku was alone. There wasn't a single person in class she knew who respected and noticed Miku and her small presence.

"Have I always been like this?" Miku thought. Just before she could get anywhere with that train of thought, the teacher spoke up once more.

"Tomorrow, we'll be having a student teacher for the rest of the year." The teacher announced," And.." She then held up a stack of small-sized papers.

"They told me they'd liked it if you all could tell a little bit about yourselves." She finished. She handed out a page to every individual. When she reached Miku, Miku expected Ms. Utaki to give her a look of disgust, but instead she handed her a page as if she was handing it to someone of the average populace of the class.

To Miku's surprise, it wasn't a blank page Ms. Utaki handed out to her. The page, though small, had a plethora of unnecessary questions, the first question already seeming as if they were asking for too much.

" What is your name? Why did your parents give your that name?"

"_What kinda stupid question is that?"_

Reluctantly as ever, Miku wrote her full name, although she was quite tempted to write something like Usagi Tsukino. She then thought about why her parents named her Miku. She never really asked about it, but now she was growing curious for the worst reasons. It meant 'sky of beauty', perhaps she was born during a sunset or sunrise. Her parents were sentimental like that, but for some reason, it didn't quite fit.

Then another thought popped into her head. She wrote down the names of her parents on scrap paper. Written on the paper was Mikoto and Kurou. Miku's eyes then opened widely.

"This is more than a coincidence," She thought as she half-grinned. She took the 'Mi' from her mother's name and the 'Ku' from her father's name. Realizing this spelt 'Miku' she pretended that was the reason she was named Miku and wrote her theory on the small paper.

"Next question, What are your favorite things to eat and drink?"

Miku had a small stomach, weighing only 92 pounds at sixteen years old. She was unable to stomach a lot of things, such as curry (too spicy) certain pizzas (too rich in flavor) and the rest of the time, she was just picky with what she ate.

After a few moments of contemplation, Miku decided to write down ,'popsicles.' Popsicles were good for soothing one's throat and her throat, along with her voice, was one of her more treasured body parts. Miku didn't enjoy carbonated beverage as they were known for gradually damaging vocal cords. She used to have a thing for iced tea, but then it became too widely bought. Miku finally wrote down Vitamin water. To her, normal water just tasted bad and vitamin water was a decent alternative. On the odd time, she'd drink vegetable juice.

"What do you enjoy doing? Put in as much detail as possible."

Out of impulse, Miku nearly crumpled up the sheet of paper but then she saw Ms. Utaki's eyes glare towards her.

_"These are the stupidest questions I've ever been asked!"_

"Fine." Miku thought," If they want that much detail, I'll write them a freaking bible of what I like to do."

Miku wrote down everything that came into her mind without hesitation.

"_I like to watch anime and my favorite seiyu is Saki Fujita. In my eyes, she has talent that is overlooked with the amount of roles she's had. My favorite genre is supernatural, things that can psychologically destroy you. When I'm not watching anime, I usually listen to music. I listen EVERY genre really, anything with a catchy, infectious beat. A singer I'm really hooked on currently is Meiko-san. Her voice is really mature and I'm usually not into that kinda of stuff but she just gets to me, you know? I also enjoy sleeping. I sleep in a nightgown I've had for three years that goes to my thighs and sometimes, I'll wear knee-high socks that won't cut off the circulation in my legs. I'd really like a kigurumi but those things are expensive and I'm currently broke, so I'll just have to wait for my birthday. _

By then, Miku's hand was sore, but she was satisfied with how much she had wrote and that she finished the questionnaire within the short period of time. She put in as much detail as she planned for, but then, something crossed her mind.

"What if this teacher's a guy?" She thought. She quickly reread her work to see if there was anything she needed to omit.

"_I sleep in a nightgown that goes to my thighs."_ She slapped her forehead in humiliation.

"That's it. I forbid myself from brain childing for the rest of this class."

Just as she was about to erase the sentence, the bell signaling the end of class rang.

"Alright, I'll take them in." Ms. Utaki said.

"W-wait!" Miku shouted as Ms. Utaki was about to take her sheet away," Can I just get a redo? I'll stay after class and clean the boards while I'm here."

Ms. Utaki took away her questionnaire without hesitance," There are no redos in life."

"Stupid witch." Miku thought as Ms. Utaki walked away.

As Miku walked out of class, she began to contemplate again.

"_No redos, no second chances." _

Why did people say that? That wasn't necessarily true. A second chance, even though serendipitous, wasn't non-existent. And it's not like when they appeared, they were given to the most worthy of people. And, when some were offered a second chance, they didn't take it because according to them, 'there are no second chances in life.' But, this is life, and you've been given a second chance, so what's the point of protesting against it?

Miku then thought," Do I deserve a second chance?"

She then shook her head," I know if I were given a second chance, I wouldn't put that chance to use at all. In my world of second chance, I can already see myself living like today, which will probably be lived just like tomorrow. My days are passed by, not lived out and they will remain like that until the day I die. Nothing happens here, no one bothers to talk to me and it's not like I make the effort to talk. Nothing can change at this rate and it's not like I want things to change. I don't need anyone but myself. I don't need things to change."

The next day, at the beginning of last period, Utaki introduced the student-teacher.

"Class, I'd liked you to give a warm welcome to Mr. Shion." Ms. Utaki beamed. The students at the front gave an attentive, toneless response and the popular kids gave a friendly, relaxed response. Meanwhile, the leftovers mumbled an awkward response, knowing they wouldn't be heard or noticed by the student teacher, with Miku staring Mr. Shion down and the boy with the large bags being absent today.

A few of the girls looked at Mr. Shion with dreamy eyes. He noticed their gaze and smiled back warmly. They weren't wrong to look at him like that. Mr. Shion was in fact a dreamy man with dark blue hair accompanied with azure eyes. He dressed sharply as he was a student teacher and his smile was more than able to make girls drop in pure bliss.

"Mr. Shion, I'm really sorry we don't have a desk for you yet." Ms. Utaki said sheepishly.

"That's alright." Mr. Shion beamed," I guess I'll just sit over by that desk."

The desk he was reference was in fact the desk beside Miku. A few girls looked at him with even dreamier gazes as they got to see him close up and soon, he was awkwardly inside the desk beside Miku.

He smiled towards Miku but it appeared she was unimpressed with him.

"Drop dead."


	2. Chapter 2

A few girls heard Miku's bitter command and quietly gasped amongst themselves. Miku displaying her ungratefulness to have Mr. Shion next to her was more than unnecessary. And, unfortunate to say, it wasn't Miku's 'tsundere side' taking over, she just didn't like people who had the slightest bit of authority to them.

Mr. Shion ,however, believed he could read Miku like a book and smiled away. Miku didn't think any better of him now and so she glanced at the board with little interest. Soon, Ms. Utaki began to write notes onto the board again and so everyone, minus Miku, began to write. But of course, Miku pretended to write so she wouldn't strike suspicions.

As she was 'writing' she noticed Mr. Shion taking notes down too. She always hated it when student-teachers would write the notes down along with the class, as if they were playing both roles in the class. But then again, that would make use of the term 'student-teacher.' Mr. Shion didn't notice Miku's glare and suddenly, the two of them heard what sound to be the crack of a pencil.

Miku looked over to her hand. It appeared out of pent-up, unconscious frustration, Miku had snapped her pencil in half with the bottom half gripped in her fist and the top half missing.

"Aw christ." Miku said under her breath as she searched the top of her desk for her pencil top.

"Here." said quietly as he handed her his pen.

Miku's eyes widened at his gesture. Awkwardly, she took the pen from his hand.

"Thanks."

She reddened as she turned away from him. She did have the choice of saying no, but then might've called on Ms. Utaki to bring her a pen, and then she would've gotten the entire class' attention. Or, what if he attempted to force Miku to write with the pen? Surely that would be uncalled for, but if Ms. Utaki approved, then anything, no matter how uncalled for, could be done.

She tried her hardest to ignore him and usually she would be successful, but for some reason, every time she looked away from him, it felt like insides were getting eaten away at. But she didn't have it in her to directly look at him, so the only option she had left was to stare at his feet.

While staring at his feet, Miku blindly scribbled against her page as an ink test. She looked at the ink and noticed something different with it. The pen wrote in metallic blue. This only made Miku feel even more out of place as she stared at the color.

"Excuse me?" Mr. Shion tapped Miku lightly on the shoulder.

Miku hurled to the other side of her desk startled. She glared at him and puffed her cheeks up.

"What?"

"Does someone else sit here?"

Miku felt a distortion of her emotions come upon her. He already wanted to leave her sight, which should've been pleasing but..it felt, wrong.

"Yeah, but he's a real creep." Miku said, now feeling somewhat comfortable as they talked," All he ever does is sit there and draw guns and this one time, he drew Utaki-sensei with a rifle pointed at her head."

Mr. Shion giggled and Miku blushed once more. It seemed strange of him to laugh at something so juvenile. Miku wanted to laugh with him to but her voice seemed to constricted by her pride.

"And not to mention he still passes tests with flying colors." Miku added.

"I'm surprised you pay more attention to him than you do to the lesson, Miku-chan." Mr. Shion smirked.

Miku awkwardly blushed but then flinched.

"How'd you-?!"

"Utaki handed me the questionnaire back in what I theorized as the class seating plan." So it appears my theory was correct."

"So then.." Miku trailed off.

"This class consists of twenty-four people, with no empty desks, I would assume. The desks are six a row, four a column. The average teacher would take back assignments and such by going down columns, starting with the column closest to her. I'm sure it's obvious which one is the closest."

Miku glanced to Utaki's desk, seeing the column farthest to the right of the class was closest to her. Miku was in the column beside that one.

"Out of convenience, since you sit beside the person who at the end of the first column, she'd take yours and work her way upwards to the front of the column. And so I assume, your questionnaire was the-"

"-You're a freak." Miku declared.

" Says the one who fangirls over Meiko." Mr. Shion countered with a snicker.

Slightly fazed, Miku refused to say another word to him for the remainder of class. She instead actually wrote down the notes, making Mr. Shion smile. She wasn't writing for her own good, she was writing so she wouldn't have to think of Mr. Shion. The bell soon rang, leaving Miku to collect her things and leave without even saying goodbye to Mr. Shion.

She made sure she wouldn't ever say another word to him.

Days passed, and soon, Mr. Shion got his own desk at sat at the front of the class alongside Ms. Utaki and closely to the popular kids.

Miku watched as the popular kids engaged long, light-hearted conversations with him over and over again. They'd talk about their weekends and their life at home. It appeared that Mr. Shion was enjoying their talks more than his short, meaningless talk with her.

But, why should've this affected her? He was gone, and things were fine now. Things were going as Miku had expected and she was beginning to let the days pass again. But the days were becoming unable to go by without her thinking about Mr. Shion just once. Soon, she began to continuously play over the last thing he said to her in head.

_"Says the one who fangirls over Meiko." _

_"Says the one who fangirls over Meiko."_

_"Says the one who fangirls over Meiko."_

_"Says the one who fangirls over Meiko."_

_"Says the one who fangirls over Meiko."_

Sometimes, she would think about the last thing _she _said to _him._ She would cringed and begin to think of something that wasn't Mr. Shion.

"_You're a freak."_

It was her own fault that Mr. Shion thought of her to be the person he thought she was, thanks to the dumb questionnaire. But, what if Miku's questionnaire was the only questionnaire he read? What if he memorized Miku's questionnaire? What if he had it framed in some sort of shrine in his house? What if he had torn it up after Miku stopped talking to him?

Miku shook her head in an attempt to get out of her thoughts. Sadly, it was the only method she had left. She had nobody to distract her from her pathetic emotions, nothing else beside music to interest (music could only distract her for about three minutes) and even in her dreams, she would get the most gruesome nightmares. Nightmares of her rotting body and her getting eaten alive by vultures, vultures sent by Mr. Shion. Sometimes she'd dream herself laying in the corner of her room and she'd see a silhouette. The silhouette would appear to come and comfort her, but then it would latched it's 'teeth' onto her neck, decapitating her. At one point she assumed it was Mr. Shion. She then refused to believe her theory was true.

But, her latest dream, was a wedding cake and on the wedding cake were two living little figures. The bride was Miku and the groom was Mr. Shion.

"Why are we getting married?" Miku asked," We're too young."

"You're the one who wanted to rush into things," Mr. Shion jeered," Besides, I don't even think this whole thing will work out."

Miku's face fell,'' Are you talking about us getting married?"

Miku then woke up. She felt a bead of sweat roll down her temple. Cautiously, she felt the sweat.

"_It's cold."_

It was six in the morning, meaning she had an hour left to sleep. But right now, sleep was the last thing on Miku's mind. She was starting to think of ways she could get Mr. Shion's attention once more. She looked at her silky turquoise hair. It was always in pig-tails, surely that would've been more than enough to receive attention from someone; that is if she wasn't Miku and he wasn't Mr. Shion.

"What if I wore bows instead?" Miku idly thought aloud," Or, curl my hair, or wear it down, or wear flowers?"

None of her ideas seemed good enough. She then looked over to the mirror in her room.

"What if I gained weight? Or, I could.." She looked to a large box of tissue paper in her room and then touched her chest. She shook her head and went back into bed.

"Why doesn't he care? Why should he care? Why should I care?" Miku sat there in abstract thinking. She looked out her window. It was spring, so that meant, the sun was out..somewhere.

She closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

That day, Miku passed the most of the day by carelessly until last period, were she began to mentally collapse. The kid that drew the guns wasn't here today and Ms. Utaki presented a new assignment.

"Because of the lack of trust this class has.." Ms. Utaki said with evident irritation in her voice," We will do a little, 'get to know each other with a mutual understanding.' exercise and each of you will have to work with the person beside you.""Aw great, why did those popular kids do this time to make us go through this?" Miku thought.

"Will this be for marks?" One girl in the front row asked.

"No..this is just to build trust in our class." Ms. Utaki said.

Miku still wasn't impressed," I rather watch a silent, sepia-toned documentary than do yet another stupid 'exercise'."

"Mr. Shion, would you like to be my partner?" One of the popular kids, Lily, asked. In Miku's eyes, Lily was a downright whore. She had light blonde hair and alluring crystal blue eyes that could easily trance any man she desired. Along with the fact that she wore her school uniform in the sleazy fashion with two buttons at the top undone with pulled up sleeves, Lily was one of the cutest girls in school.

"But Lily, Marika needs a partner too." Mr. Shion stated as he pointed to the brunette next to Lily.

"Oh.." Lily said, the feeling of rejection being heard from her voice.

Mr. Shion made his way to the back of the classroom to sit beside Miku.

"Would you like to be my partner, Miku-chan?"


	3. Chapter 3

Miku took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. She stared Mr. Shion down for a few moments before finally giving a reply to him.

"Fine."

Contently, Mr. Shion in the desk next to Miku. As Miku thought of questions to ask Mr. Shion, she heard a few of her classmates ask their questions?

"What's your name?" A girl in front of Miku jokingly asked her partner.

"_Is everyone here a moron?" _

But then, Miku decided to use the question as she didn't know Mr. Shion's first name.

"What's your name?" She asked in a passive tone as she stood up. Not many, actually no one looked at her in surprise as she questioned .

"Well, Mr. Shion of course." Mr. Shion replied in an obvious, but gentle tone," And, my first name is Kaito."

"_Kaito." _

"Then..why did you become a teacher?" Miku questioned.

Kaito opened his mouth to correct Miku that it was his turn, but he answer her question instead.

"I'm only a student-teacher for now, and I believe everyone has potential, as long as they see learning in their own special way." Kaito answered.

"Their own special way?"

"Yeah, I think some people will used everything they've learned up until the end of their school lives at some point, whether they like it or not and whether it be something like a formula or something philosophical." Kaito thought aloud.

"_His thoughts are beautiful."_

"How can you be so sure of it?"

"Who said I was sure of it?"

Miku sat there wide-eyed waiting for more of a response.

"Sadly, I can't say I believe in everyone, but they refuse to even try, but there are some who I know will go far with just the smallest push."

"Miku-chan," Kaito spoke up after a moment of silence in a tone different than the tone he used before," I think you have potential."

"Potential to be what?"

"Whatever you please."

"If I have so much potential, they why am I nearly failing this class?"

"Your poteintial seems to come from your determination, and I think you've put your determination to a negative use." Kaito giggled.

Miku closed her eyes and began to let thoughts swarm in her head.

"How can he know so well, when he doesn't know me?"

"But, nothing seems to be right with me, how can you believe that I have potential?"

"I just do."

"But..it's not fair!" Miku shouted as she slammed her hands on her desk. She surprised herself with her tone and the most Kaito did was flinch," It's like you understand me so well, you didn't even bother to give me a chance to understand you."

Kaito sat there quietly and Miku glued her eyes onto her empty desk," But..it's not like I could even if I tried. You're strange and mysterious and I feel like I can't keep up with you. Actually, it's more like I can't keep up with anybody..."

"Miku," Kaito began," Do you think it'd be easier if you told me more about yourself?"

Miku took a very breath breath before she began.

"I hate school."

"Why is that?"

"I'm not needed, I'm not important..I'm not wanted."

"Miku, what do you want?"

Miku hung her head and refused to respond.

"Do you perhaps, want a friend?" Kaito asked.

"Don't make me laugh!" Miku said," I've had friends, so don't get the idea that I've been some lonely loner who's never been spoken too."

"What happened to those friends?"

Miku's eyes widened. She had to admit, she wasn't expecting him to ask that. She kept silent, hoping he would ask another question and they could just move on from there. But, all relationships involved a mutual understanding, so wouldn't it be easier to respond and get it over with?

"I'm not good at keeping friends.." Miku started softly," They've always moved away, or found someone better than me. And so now I don't even bother, even when some of my old friends want to keep a long distance friendship. Those aren't the same, you don't get to see them everyday and ask how the hours without them were. And even though I know some of my old friends want to stay friends ...I just couldn't go back to them!"

Miku was beginning to tear up," I've pushed so many people away and now there's no going back.."

"Why did you push them away?" Kaito asked calmly.

"I didn't want them then, I knew their lives were so much better, I knew they wouldn't need me if I had left their lives. It was like a test, a test they passed and I failed." Miku sobbed.

"Miku, do you understand your own actions?" Kaito asked.

"Obviously not, I guess I'm a screw-up overall." Miku said weakly as tears stream down her face. She didn't care about the lack of pride she was showing off with her tears, it wasn't as if anyone in class cared. She looked around and realized everyone had left, even Ms. Utaki. It was the end of the day and the only people left in class were them.

"I should probably get going.." Miku said as she stood up. For a few moments, it appeared Kaito was in shock with Miku. He finally stood and grabbed her by the wrist.

"You're no screw-up!" He yelled.

"Do you expect me to believe you?!" Miku yelled back. She attempted to yank herself out of Kaito's grip but he simply held on tighter.

"But Miku, I still believe in you." Kaito said,"Also, do you know what Social Anxiety is?"

"Yeah, it's a disorder." Miku snapped as she ripped herself free from Kaito's grip.

"Would you like to go, somewhere with me..this afternoon?"

Miku caught on quickly," You're going to get me tested, aren't you?!"

Kaito couldn't respond and just stood there awkwardly.

"Over my dead body!" Miku screamed. She was about to run off, but she felt her legs grow weak.

"If you believe in me, then why do you think something is wrong with me?" Miku asked quietly.

"Because, knowing you, you'll overcome this." Kaito responded as he put his hands on Miku's shoulders.

"Car or bus?" Miku asked as walked a few steps.

"Excuse me?"

"Are we going by car or bus?"

After a few moments, the two walked out into the school's parking lot. Miku soon found herself in Kaito's car and the two began to go to the city's medical building. Miku felt butterflies in her stomach and soon began to regret her choice in letting Kaito take her to get her tested for Social Anxiety. But now, she was spending more time with him than anyone at school. But, this was not a great way to spend time with your student-teacher. She wanted to tell Kaito to turn the car around but even she knew he wouldn't listen. There was nothing left for her to do but sit back and wait.

Finally they arrived at the building and shyly, Miku held Kaito's surprisingly large arm. He wasn't buff or anything, he was just tall. Miku darted her eyes back and forth, watching nurses and doctors walking about. Some of them glared at Miku and Kaito as if they were unwillingly making a spectacle of themselves. It must've been they're blue hair and the nurses thinking it was dye. Miku suddenly bumped into Kaito's back as Kaito stopped walking. The two were in front of the front desk. There behind the desk was a woman who appeared to be in her fifties with already show-white hair and green cat-eye glasses.

"Appointment or walk-in?" The woman asked.

"Walk-in." Kaito responded.

"The doctor will be with you soon." The woman replied. Kaito smiled to her and was a noticable red tint in her cheeks. Miku sat in an indecent fashion on one of the waiting chairs. Kaito didn't tell her off and sat there patiently while Miku was impatiently waiting for him to snap at her.

_"Hurry and notice me, I'm sick of sitting like this." _

Unfortunately, it wasn't Kaito who told her off.

"Have some class!" A old woman who being pushed in a wheelchair yelled to Miku.

Miku impulsively blew a raspberry to her and the woman was gone. Miku then sat normally.

"Why were you sitting like that?" Kaito asked.

"How should I know?" Miku said with her head in her hands.

"_Why do I have to act so repulsive around him? I know I didn't like him at first, but..is this love?"_

"Hatsune Miku?" A voice called.

Miku lifted her head up and she, along with Kaito, followed the person who called out her name.

The doctor's room was large and currently doctorless, so Miku sat in the corner. It was strangely cold in the room, and Miku held her arms to preserve body heat.

"Hello there!'' A voice bellowed, startling both Miku and Kaito. Into the room came who appeared to be the doctor.

"You must be Miku." The doctor said as he looked to the girl sitting on the ground with her twintails touching the floor.

"It's cold in here." Miku stated.

"Ah yes, our AC went haywire last week so now we're just trying to get the heat regulated." The doctor explained.

"But you're doctors, can't you fix something as simple as a broken AC?" Miku snapped.

"Miku, doctors fix people, not machines.." Kaito explained.

"The building repair-man said he'd see to it last week, but he hasn't been here since. I heard he has some second job, I'm really not sure.." The doctor said," Well, what seems to be the problem today?"

"He thinks there's something wrong with me!" Miku shouted as she puffed up her cheeks.

"How long would it take to run a few tests on her?" Kaito asked.

"What do you think is wrong with her?" The doctor asked.

Just as Kaito was about to respond, Miku glared at him, forcing Kaito to whisper his reply into the doctor's ear.

"Well, that's quite a thought." The doctor declared.

"Running tests shouldn't work on me now.." Miku thought," I'm already aware that he thinks I have Social Anxiety. And now I won't answer questions honestly."

"We can run a few tests..but we'll get in the results in a few weeks, is that alright?" The doctor asked.

"Yes." Kaito replied.

"Alright, into the testing room then." The doctor lead Miku and Kaito in a room filled with testing machines and various questioning instruments."

"Miku, I'll just be asking simple questions, but first.." The doctor lead Miku to a table and hooked her up to a machine.

"What's that?" Miku asked. Neither the doctor or Kaito gave her a response.

"Now, Miku, what are your thoughts on large groups of people?" The doctor asked.

"I don't see anything wrong with them," Miku replied neutrally.

The machine went off and sent a small tremor to Miku.

"I suppose I should've answered you question earlier." The doctor stated," This is a lie detector and appears you aren't a very honest girl. I'll ask the first question once more."

"What are your thoughts on large groups of people?"

"They're nauseating and a total nightmare."

After a few more tests and questions, Miku was finished and Kaito drove her home.

Today was boring, today I was worthless.. but I was with Kaito and I feel like I'm worth so much whenever I'm around him. Tomorrow, I'll have a different worth, whether it be more or less.. Why is it whenever I'm around him, the days don't seem to pass by as easy? He's living in my thoughts and my dreams, my wishes, my desires. Whenever he's gone, he lives on, in me. But.. he's just like everyone else, they've all pushed me aside, they all think I'm wrong. And the worst part is, he's making _me _feel like I'm wrong. Everyone combined was enough to make me feel like I'm wasn't worthy to be given life, but he makes me want to have never existed. I should hate him for making me feel like this, but..I just can't.

Kaito drove up to home and walked her to her doorstep. Both he and Miku were expecting her to open the door and enter her house without a goodbye, but then Miku whirled around and clung to him tightly.

"Please don't leave me again."


	4. Chapter 4

Kaito was startled, shocked by Miku's sudden plea. She held on tightly and kept her regrets as far away from her thoughts as possible. He felt like a magnet the entire time, and there was no repelling him now. Not when he did all that for her. Not after this embrace.

"We don't need dates.." Miku sobbed. Kaito suddenly looked down to Miku," We don't need to consummate, or a widely known relationship. We can just have each other if you want."

Kaito froze up, not sure how to respond to Miku. Eventually, Miku broke the hug and snapped back to her senses. What had she done? Kaito's life was perfect, there was no need for the splatter of blue-green paint that Miku was on Kaito's blank canvas of life.

"Miku, I think you should get a good night rest." Kaito suggested.

Miku left Kaito at her doorstep and entered her house. No one was home yet and Miku dragged her feet upstairs into her room. She sat on her bed with a uneasy feeling residing in her stomach. She laid down awkwardly to set her stomach at ease.

"Now he thinks I'm delusional." Miku groaned into her pillow. She sighed loudly. Why couldn't she have the average high-school girl life? Why couldn't she have an average circle of friends that she could tell her problems too? Why couldn't she just have a simple crush on the school quarterback like every other girl in school? Why didn't she keep herself from lusting over Kaito?

"It's too late, he can't accept me.." Miku thought to herself.

"_I wish I could just disappear.."_

Meanwhile, Kaito was driving back to his house. He unfortunately happened to live on the other side of the city, with his job being far from home and Miku's house being farther. He was fidgety and began to irregular tap his fingers against the dashboard during red lights. He felt what he thought was guilty because only now he realized, he led Miku on. Maybe if he treated her how she expected to be treated by him. Maybe this wouldn't have happened. But, he can't leave her like this now. She's grown dependent on him, that much he can see. So then, what will happen when she neglected?

Kaito forced himself to stop harboring all these heavy thoughts before unconscious flashbacks would occur. During the rest of the ride, he diluted his thoughts with radio blaring and soon he neared his apartment block. He quietly went into the building and up the elevator to his apartment.

He didn't mean to give so much attention, he was only concerned. He didn't love her and now Miku was broken. Kaito then felt a shiver down his spine.

He was now forced to relive unwanted memories.

_It was the first day at the university and Dad decided to drive today, even though I've had my license for a long time now. I told him he was just making a nuisance of himself but he didn't seem to care. As the campus came into view, so did a load of university students. They all looked like the university kids you see on tv. Dapper, elegant, mature with a touch of sociable to each of them. I know a few kids from my high school went here, but I never knew any of those kids very well. I want a new start, a new chapter in my life. As I get out of the car, dad wipes tears away from his eyes and says good luck. I turn my back on him as I say goodbye and face the campus. Everyone seems so hard to approach. It appears some people have already started making friends while others are walking around with an air of superiority with them. They make looking unattainable and refined so easy. I look down at myself to see if I stand out. Today I decided to wear a dress shirt and simple pants. It seems I'm not the only one who decided to dress like this today. I guess it's good that I blend in, but then again I want to notice me. I just want to make friends without having to make an effort. I sit down on a bench and observe the rest of the people here. It appears all the girls wore blazers and knee-length skirts as if it was a dress code. It seems people are just mingling for now, waiting until the first class begins so they can make real friends with people in their classes this year. It's been awhile since I felt this lonely. I wish I could find someone as singled out as me right now. I examine the area for someone, anyone to 'mingle' with. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see a girl sitting on a small ledge that encloses a garden. She's not dressed like the other girls, but she's not dressed outrageously. She's wearing nothing but flared navy blue jeans and a sweatshirt with her apparent high school, Aoizumi printed on it. Her hair is short and light brown with her bangs framing her small face. She's sitting there reading something, but I can't tell what it is. While she's reading she has earphones in. Maybe it's an audiobook and she checking for errors or different wording in both the audiobook and the actual book. I think it's been five minutes since I started watching her and she hasn't shifted her gaze since. She hasn't even turned the page of her book and now I'm wondering if she's simply a slow reader. Out of nowhere, she looks up and motions me over. I cautiously walk over and she motions me to sit down. She then flips the inside of her books to my view. _

_"It's a songbook." She declares. _

_"You had me at 'It's'," I say casually, not realizing what I'm saying. I cringe away the rest of my thoughts and she simply laughs at me. _

_"Meiko, and you?" _

_"Shion Kaito."_

_"It's nice to meet you, Shion."_

_I reddened and froze up, unable to correct her._

_It turns out, we had our first university class together, that gave us a reason to do more than mingle. But now that I think about it, I think I was unintentionally drawn to her and would've come back either way. We would go on outings and we would tell each other of our lives before we came to the university. _

_And, let's just say her life was more interesting than mine. _

_"You know, I've been through some crazy stuff." Meiko said as she held her wine glass (which wasn't necessarily filled with wine) in her right hand. Her gaze was to me but to the view of the town street we were sharing through a window. _

_"For some reason, I'm not surprised." I stated. _

_"I've been in two car crashes, the first one killed my mother and gave my older brother brain damage. The next car crash was two years after and my older brother died in that one."_

_Meiko looked over and noticed my uneasy expression. _

_"I thought you said you weren't surprised," Meiko says. _

_"How are you just so nonchalant about it though?" I asked in a louder than average tone. Neither of us expected myself to rudely question like that, but I didn't regret how I felt towards the situation. I could tell she expected me to draw back and apologize for my abrupt actions like usual but that wasn't going to happen this time. _

_"I just can't feel anything whenever I think about it." Meiko replied," It hurt awfully as a teen but then it began to be all I thought about and instead of being swallowed up by my grief I just, kept going on. Sometimes I think I'm internalizing the pain, but it doesn't feel like that. There is no feeling when comes to them. I just go numb. In fact, during a lot of situations, I get numb. Not a lot means anything anymore. But, I still have my songbooks, my Ipod.."_

_"You said you'd let me hear one of your songs one day." I said. _

_Meiko takes a small sip from her wine glass," I know."_

_"Can I listen to them tonight?" I asked._

_Meiko's eyes widened. For a moment, she sits still and then she nearly drops her glass. _

_"Is that a yes or a no?" I questioned cautiously. _

_She then slowly stands up and lifts me from my seat. We begin to walk out of the cafe._

_"You've got nice timing, I play better in the night." Meiko says. _

_We soon got to her house and soon she began to play for me._

_Come to think of it, I've never heard her sing. I've only seen her listen to other people sing. _

_She was setting up her microphone and eventually she began to sing. Her voice was unlike anything I've ever heard and to believe she kept this from me for so long. I know I didn't deserve to have deprived of such a goddess like voice. And to think she was going to deprive the world of her voice for even longer if I hadn't secretly recorded this little session of ours. _

_After her five minute song was over, she asked for feedback and I immediately turned off my recording device ie my phone and told her exactly what I thought. _

_I told her she was the best thing I've ever heard and that she should share her voice with the world. She awkwardly giggled off my opinion and made me sleep at her place as she didn't want me to catch a cold had I gone out. _

_A few weeks later, Meiko's favorite artist's record label announced that they were searching for a new idol. I told Meiko this was her best opportunity and she simply laughed off my words. She said there was no way in hell they would hear her sing, so I had to do what I had to do. _

_I sent the recording of Meiko's voice from a few weeks before, the recording now burnt onto a cd, to the record label and a little while later Meiko was chosen. _

_They first called her number and Meiko thought it was a joke at first, but when she realized this call was legit she began to wonder how they got a sample of her voice. Two days later, when they came to bring Meiko to record label, she finally figured out that I recorded her voice from that night. Meiko was furious with me as I expected but she still took up the offer. However, after she became famous, she never spoke to me again. I let myself think that Meiko has become too busy with her career to contact but deep within my conscious, I have a feeling she's still holding a grudge over me for that day. _

That 'grudge' took a toll on Kaito mentally. He knew that ever since Meiko left him, he was far from normal. In his room, he slowly opened up his closet that had been untouched since four days before. He was attempting to remain abstinent from what he kept inside the closet but he just couldn't control himself after that memory of his. In the closet was a shrine dedicated to Meiko and in the center of the shrine was a cd player with a copy of the first recording of Meiko's voice. He cautiously pressed play on the cd player.

Meiko's voice filled the room as it echoed against the walls. Overwhelmed, Kaito fell backwards and laid on the floor of his room. It felt like he hadn't heard this song in forever, but even he knew he couldn't go a day without hearing it, whether the song was passing by his thoughts, in his dreams, or actually playing.

After the song was over, Kaito sat up and crossed his legs. His painful obsession was gradually getting the better of him. He knew he needed to do something about it but he didn't know what. What if he deluded his thoughts away from Meiko and preoccupied himself with someone else?

He tried to think of people he sees on a daily basis that would be worthy of replacing Meiko. All they had to be was friends, someone who could distract him from Meiko daily and linger in his thoughts for a while. Nobody really seemed to fit and it wasn't like he could make them fit. But soon enough, a certain someone flashed into his mind that seemed to already be infatuated with him.

"Miku-chan.."

"But she hates me..."

Kaito had his head in his hands as he found himself running out of options. Another idea appeared in his head, but he felt reluctant to do this

"But she might not for long.."


	5. Chapter 5

Miku sat at her desk motionlessly and felt transparent. This heart-wrenching feeling deep within her refused to go away by any means and so, Miku became dead on the inside. It felt like a void was opening up from inside of her and there was nothing left to fill it with except more void. What was she thinking, asking him for a relationship? He was a teacher's assistant, who probably thought Miku's life was just one giant mess now. Miku refused to shift her gaze from her desk because everything and everyone reminded her of Kaito. They spent so little time together and she just had to screw things up. Why couldn't she have just waited until they became more familiar with each other and she was older. Why did she have to destroy this joke of a relationship from the get go? But what point would there be in waiting? She wanted him then and there, she knew that for sure. But now she knew for sure he wouldn't be coming back, not after that awkward, superior statement he left her with.

There was nothing left for her to do, but this was half his fault. He just had to lead her on, making her think he cared and what not. She wanted to run away from all of these thoughts, run away from the fact that she was rejected but, she had nowhere to go. If she ran, she would wander aimlessly until her legs lost feeling and her lungs gave out. There was no helping worthless, and no helping lovesickness.

" 'Morning !" One girl cried as Kaito walked in.

Miku froze up, unsure of how to act. Should she act stuck-up and refuse to look at him? Resistance was pointless, even she knew that. Maybe she should having her true feelings reflect her actions. Maybe she should rush into his arms and beg for his forgiveness. But she couldn't do that either, not with the crowd of student who would question her actions and talk badly about her later. Her head started to ache as she thought of reactions she could put on and scenarios along with them.

"I'm gonna get an aneurysm at this rate." Miku thought as she pinched her forehead. She look at the clock after another grueling moment of thinking. There were five minutes before class would start and the teacher wasn't in class yet.

"Screw it." She thought as she stood up. She began to walk out of the class but just before she did so, she took a short glimpse at Kaito. He was too busy with the popular kids to watch her leave. Miku sighed as she left the class. The halls of the school were abandoned as most kids had hurried off into their classrooms. Miku walked and walked until she reached the girls' bathroom. She sat in the corner and let thoughts clutter her mind.

"He used to be only in my last period class but recently he got transferred as an assistant in my first period class too." Miku thought," But why? Did he ask for it? Was he secretly interested in one of the popular girls? Or, maybe he's into me.. No, he just wants to keep an eye on me to see if I make friends. Oh christ, what if he into Ms. Ongakune?"

As Miku's Kaito conspiracy thoughts began to pile up, she began to smash her head against the bathroom wall. What if he was pitying Miku this entire time like the few kids were didn't act as mean to her as the rest of the kids at this school did?

In truth, Miku knew what everyone thought about her. They recognized her as a friendless hopeless misfit that went with the crowd; lifeless and unnecessary. She could go missing and no one would care. She could get drugged and raped and no one would be concerned. She could kill herself in front of the entire student body and after an hour, she would become yesterday's news forever.

But, they would only forget her because she hasn't drawn their attention yet. She hasn't spoken up and she's been following the rules in a lowly manner like everyone else. Ideally, she needs a breakthrough that can make her appeal to everyone and get them on her side. Then, once they become her friends, she can become queen bee and have every student fall to their knees for her. With that, they would do her bidding and give her what she pleased. She could get straight A's and become cheer captain and even class president! No, those would never appeal to her. What she desired was both the student and every teacher to side with Miku and revolt against Kaito so that he would never show his face in this damned school again!

"These toxins of perfumes the girls are spraying is getting me high." Miku declared.

Miku decided to not show up for first period at all and stayed in the washroom. As the bell for second period rang, Miku exited the washroom.

"They haven't seen anything yet."

Just as she predicted, nobody noticed from her first period class asked why she didn't show up. To keep her mind off of Kaito, she set herself at ease by actually focusing on the lesson the teacher was delivering. It was hopeless to think Miku could just stop thinking, so of course once the lesson was over and the assignment was given, Miku thought about things like walking numbers and flying teachers to keep herself from thinking of Kaito. But soon, that no longer was working either.

"Miku?" A girl's voice asked. Miku scoffed, she had never heard this voice in her life and she knew for sure it wasn't the teacher. She looked up and saw one of her classmates before her desk.

"Would you like to work with us?" She asked.

Miku looked behind the girl to see who 'us' was. It was a bunch of other girls from her class. They weren't popular but they always seemed friendly to Miku. She just never chose to approach them.

Gingerly with a small mental sigh, Miku accepted the girl's offer and went to work with them. After a minutes of working on the assignment, Miku realized she hadn't been acting like a group member and more like a leech. But, it appeared none of the girls did notice, so may as well keep on leeching. The girls soon finished and Miku asked to get a drink of water as an excuse to wander off. But, just as she was outside of the classroom, she found, or rather heard, something more interesting.

"I can't stand that girl." One of the girls Miku was working with stated," Why would you invite her over?"

"I'm sorry!" The girl who invited Miku apologized," She always seems so lonely."

"But she doesn't do anything." Another girl said, referring to Miku's leeching for answers.

"Not to mention she's a total tramp." The girl who started the conversation said," I heard she has a thing for Mr. Shion."

"Yeah, I saw them together after school in the classroom a few days ago."

"But Mr. Shion's way too good for her. She does not deserve a man of his, his..coolness! She's a complete failure!"

"That blue-haired bitch is going to wind up rotting in hell for scathing a man like him."

Miku let out an unsettling groan as she began to tear up, but she had to go back, she had to see a reaction or an aftermath from these girls. Bringing back her composure, Miku stepped back into the classroom. From the corner of her eye, Miku saw the girls glaring at her. She also her the word 'scum' being said by one of them.

When Miku got back into her desk, she scribbled in large lettering onto a scrap piece of paper.

"**YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET." **

Now she was contemplating whether she should throw this piece of paper in ball form to the girls or just keep it to herself. Unfortunately, just as she was about to throw the piece of paper, the bell rang.

Later, just before last period began, Miku bumped into a certain someone who happened to be Kaito.

"M..Miku, where were you during first period?" Kaito asked.

"Slept in." Miku responded nonchalantly.

"I don't think that's a decent excuse for skipping, considering you were momentarily in class." Kaito pointed out.

Miku was a little surprised that Kaito realized she was there, but that was enough for her to acknowledge his presence any longer. But before she knew it, the two were walking to class together.

"Look, I, I have a confession." Kaito stated.

Miku was listening, she just didn't make it apparent that she was. Kaito kept talking.

"When, when you confessed to me the other day. I was in shock."

Miku sighed and turned to face him as the two stopped walking.

"You're so adorable and wonderful. Miku, I've never met someone quite like you and to have _you _fall for _me_?" Kaito said. He slowly went closer went whispered into Miku's ear.

"I didn't realize this before, I can't believe I didn't, but..I think our thoughts are each other are the same."

Miku froze up, unable to process what just happened. Basically, she figured out Kaito was returning her feelings but, why? How could everything just fall into place? This never happens. And now, just within a few moments, her life's hit a turning point. Did she deserve this? Did she deserve Kaito? What would it matter if she deserved Kaito, he wanted her and that's all that matter now.

Wanting to throw her arms around Kaito, she almost did so but the final bell for last period rang.

"Shall we head to class?" Kaito asked, gently holding out his hand.

She put her hand in his," We shall."


	6. Chapter 6

Their school life together was simply so perfect to the both of them, and not only did they change their lives during school, their relationship changed almost everything for them. Miku was doing a little better in school and thanks to Kaito's encouragement, She talked to the other people in her class a little bit more. They were currently acquaintances to Miku and than appeared to be more than an improvement in Kaito's eyes. Miku was making the effort because of Kaito's affection and so their relationship was benefiting the both of them.

"What do you want to do this weekend?" Miku asked awkwardly. Sometimes, she was grateful and loving, other times, she still didn't feel worthy enough for Kaito.

"Whatever you'd like this time." Kaito beamed.

Miku lit up and restrained herself from hugging Kaito in the hallway.

They tried to keep their relationship a secret, emphasis on 'tried'. A few jealous, cunning girls in the school figured them out quickly. They grew this habit in which every time Miku and Kaito were seen together, they had to say something amongst themselves like typical teenage girls. They found it entertaining when Miku would looked over angrily at the sound of her name being whispered by them.

Sadly, Miku knew she brought this onto her self. There was no helping the fact that the girls at the school would gossip every time they saw Miku and Kaito together. Generally, Miku tried her hardest not to notice them but lately, they were beginning to make Miku insecure and question her actions.

After school, Miku walked home alone, even though Kaito offered to drive her home. Her house was quiet without a single person besides her in sight. She quietly sat on her bed and clumsily tumbled to the ground. She knew it was so wrong of her to be in such a relationship now. But they were so happy. Why should those girls' input affect her feelings to Kaito. Maybe she wasn't mature to them. Miku kept on telling herself they were just jealous but that only kept her positive for so long. She felt like texting Kaito but she knew that wouldn't lift her mood now. So instead, she went to scavenge something out from her closet. After several minutes she reaped a keyboard out from the closet. It was dusty and it hadn't been touched in months due to school filling up and devouring all of her time. Her fingers were wiggling around impatiently, waiting to tap themselves against the keys. But first, she had to think of a song to play. She only learned a few songs and none of them fit the mood with their bright and hopeful lyrics. Then, something came to Miku. It was song without lyrics written by Meiko a year ago. She claimed she couldn't find lyrics for the song no matter how hard she tried and simply forgot about it. Miku played a fraction of it and thought of lyrics that could correspond with her mood.

"Stuck in such a cramped room~"

Weeks past and Miku still loved Kaito as much as ever and now everyone seemed to notice their undivided attention to each other. But Kaito didn't realize Miku was internalizing her feelings. Miku was never seen without Kaito at school, so she didn't have to worry about getting confront or anything like that. She was beginning to feel like a burden to him she made sure he never knew about this.

"Hey, Kaito?" Miku asked during last period.

Kaito was sitting in the desk beside Miku, the desk that used to belong to the sketching boy who had currently been unheard for about a month now. He chose not to respond as he told Miku a million times to call him Mr. Shion during school hours.

"Kaito~" She singsonged. Her voice sounded like a hummingbird to him and he couldn't resist.

"What is it?"

"Why did you think I have social anxiety?"

"I guess my exaggerating thoughts decided to follow up with my actions. It's just, my younger sister has social anxiety and she's never outside in the open. She's scared of other people. she feels as if she's being judged by everything, whether it be inanimate or not. Sometimes, I can't understand what's there to be afraid of really, but every now and then I think she's right to hide herself away with this kind of society we live in."

Miku's face fell as Kaito finished his explanation. She wished she had it in her to speak her mind and say things she could never have thought of in she wasn't so mentally cautious.

"It's a good thing you don't have social anxiety though." Kaito said awkwardly.

Kaito went back to jotting notes and Miku began to ponder things.

_"Sometimes, well, a lot lately, I don't want to be this person I am now. I feel like somewhere inside me, there's another person. She doesn't care about gossip or good grades and everything goes her way because she's hopeful. She's dainty, and, and sweet and she can inspire everyone with her true talents and power. I wonder if we'll ever meet." _

That night, while Miku was home alone, she stayed up and tried to study for her test tomorrow as Kaito begged her too. However as she studied, she was unconsciously drawing something. When she realized she was drawing, she put her studying on hold and focused harder on drawing. She was drawing herself, that much she realized, but she drew herself with an appearance that not many would recognize with. When she finished the drawing, she felt a hint of pride surge in her. In her drawing, Miku's hair was longer and she wasn't wearing her regular seifuku or casual clothes. She wore what appeared to her as a futuristic seifuku that was light blue and grey in her mind and knee-high black boots. She also wore sleeves that weren't attached to her shirt and she had 01 tattooed in red on her left arm. Lastly, her hair was held up in black and pink rectangles that didn't touch her hair. She felt herself smile as stared at this depiction of herself.

"It'd be nice to look like this."

"Miku, did you study the test last night?" Kaito asked sternly, as if trying to sound like a teacher rather than a lover.

"More or less." Miku groaned as she rose her head up from the desk.

"I can only help so much can't I?" Kaito smirked.

Instead of smiling back, Miku's expression simply shifted to a solemn one. Kaito remained oblivious to Miku's quiet agony and began to grade papers the teacher offered to him. Miku stared at Kaito while he graded papers. He seemed so calm as he did this and Miku knew if it was her, she'd be curling her nose and glaring at every single page she blessed with the red pen of judgment. Miku knew that she and Kaito were complete opposites when it came to a lot of things but they knew they felt the same way towards each other. Miku knew that bit very well. But, Kaito acted as if he didn't have a clue what went on through Miku's mind and that wasn't any good. Relationships needed mutual understanding and she thought they had that. But a lot lately, it appeared he had other things, like his potential career. But, Miku knew he'd come around, eventually. The bell tolled and so both Kaito and Miku exited the class going in separate directions. She was inevitably bordering hopeless again. As Miku walked without Kaito down the hall, she noticed girls gawking at her, gossiping her name and her relationship with Kaito.

"If you have something to say, then say it to my face!" Miku shouted as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Kaito doesn't deserve the scum of the earth!" One girl cackled.

"He doesn't need you!" Another girl shouted.

"You're a parasite to him!"

Miku balled her fists, unsure of what to say. There was no way she was going to start a fight and there was no way she was going to do anything else. Miku took a deep breath and ran as fast as she could. She ran past her locker and past her next classroom. She ran until she outside in the front lawn of the school.

She curled up into a ball and hid behind a bush. After a couple more moments, she gave up on herself and bursted into tears.

"I can't win.."

She was trapped in herself, and the chains refused to come loose. There was nothing left to do and no one to hear her cries. Suddenly, from the corner of her eye, she saw a figure. She quickly turned her head in the direction she saw the figure from. She really hoped it wasn't Kaito, as there seemed to be only a small chance he'd understand Miku's silent self-hatred and problems. The figure was actually the boy who used to sit beside her in last period. Miku had nearly forgotten about him and he seemed no different from the last time he was at school. At least, that's what Miku thought until she saw a twisted smirk plastered onto his face. Miku had the sudden urge to follow him to his next class as there was nothing better to do. She did so and tiptoed so quietly, she couldn't hear herself following behind him. The boy seemed barely conscious of his surroundings and failed to notice Miku as he reached his locker.

_"Honestly what am I doing here?" _Miku scoffed in her head.

As the boy opened his locker, Miku let her mouth go agape as she saw the contents that resided within. There, inside the boy's locker, were an small but deadly array of firearms. Miku felt sweat draining out of her rapidly and she hid herself behind a random locker.

_"Alright, ok, um, I, guess he could hopefully be just taking Drama and I'm just a stupid kid who thinks those are real guns, but won't confirm for herself because now I'm freaking terrified of him!" _

Miku was becoming slightly hysteric, but she kept her mouth shut in case of anything. She tried her very hardest to keep her breathing quiet and waited for the boy to simply close his locker and pass her by so she could head somewhere safe, like her third period class.

But no, the boy didn't seem to be leaving his locker, instead he was taking out the largest gun he could carry from his locker. Miku gulped and placed her hands over her head to protect herself while she curled up into a ball.

She prayed to just faint so she wouldn't have to hear gunfire, but it was to late as the first bullet was shot. He had a quick hand and the sound could probably be enough to assemble everyone out into the halls to see what the sound was. She could tell a few people held within the nearby classrooms wanted to go see what was happening in the halls but their teachers refused to let them out. After a bullet or two more, the 'Welcoming Committee' was called down to the hall. Miku's teeth were quietly chattered as the boy was possibly looking around for a victim or a hostage. She then heard footsteps that were rather heavy for a teenaged boy. She twisted her head very slowly and found none other than Kaito walking towards the boy.

She could feel herself beginning to hyperventilate and she began to rock back and forth. This wasn't happening, she told herself, she was still sound asleep in her bed and it was 5 a.m where she slept as lull as ever, but this nightmare had to appear. She pinched her thighs until she felt wide awake, which she already was and left small crescent indents on her skin.

"Weren't you the guy who stole my seat?" The boy smirked. Kaito remained as stern as ever as he walked up towards the boy.

Miku just had to scream from the top of her lungs: Kaito, don't you dare!

Miku appeared have startled the boy and the pulled the trigger. He hit apparently Kaito's left as he felt to the ground.

"Kaito!"

The 'Welcoming Committee' came and took the boy away and the students ran into halls to see Kaito.

They all found him in Miku's lap where she frantically held onto him. He was conscious at least, but conscious wasn't enough to assure Miku he was ok.

"Leave to Miss Miku took keep Shion safe." One girl smirked. After one deep breath, Miku snapped to the girl.

"Will you quit it for just one damn second?!"

The girl was slightly startled but kept her self silent for the remainder of her presence.

The other teachers called an ambulance and decided to have an early dismissal. Miku walked home, uneasy and angered by the fact that the paramedics wouldn't let her board the ambulance with him. She just had to be by his side, but they simply couldn't ever understand what Kaito really meant to her. She came home to an empty hose and she began to question if this was what home was supposed to be; a usually quiet desolate place that consists of a few people, but none of them are ever there at the same time. But, it might as well be, she had nowhere else to go. She sat on the loveseat in the living room with her legs perched like a bird's. She couldn't string her thoughts together like this and it was eating away at her. After an hour, she looked up to the TV straight ahead of her and caught the other her's reflection.

_"What would she do at a time like this?"_

One tear fell down her left cheek," It..it wasn't my fault, but what if, what if he saw me hiding? Then it had to be my fault.."Miku laid down, not to fall asleep but to simply stretch her legs out. A few hours passed and she came to a decision.

She was going to go see him. Miku looked outside the kitchen window and saw blacks clouds. It was clearly going to rain but that couldn't hold her back from Kaito. Even if she couldn't find a decent umbrella in her house. She walked out and began her endeavor to the hospital that held Kaito, which was long but sorta reasonable walking distance. It felt like she was walking around town, it was like she was transparent, weightless. She would walk until she was face to face with Kaito and nothing would keep her away. This was all just to see him. If began to rain a little bit but Miku didn't seemed to mind. It turned her surroundings into a ghost city governed by her and the odd car that would drive by. Maybe things really were easier when she was alone, maybe she didn't need anyone. She then came across a large pond-like puddle. The puddle was large enough to reflect her entire profile but she wasn't seeing who was suppose to be there. She saw the other her again. The girl was smiling back at Miku.

"Has she always been here?"

"I'm here for you." She saw the girl mouth," Here, in the inside."

Miku smiled back to the girl and continued to walk to Kaito. It was painful she had to admit, and she feared what Kaito's condition might've been. But whether, critical or stable she'd fight to see him.

She soon reached the hospital and was escorted to Kaito's room.

She saw Kaito awake laying on a bed. His foot was heavily wrapped in bandages as was his head but not as heavy, but Miku didn't remembering him receiving any head injuries.

"I've been getting this sinking feeling, that this is all my fault." Miku finally said after a few moments of silence.

Kaito cleared his throat," That's the last thing I'd want you to think."

"But, I don't think this is your fault. You did what you thought was right and you, you almost threw it all away!"

"Threw it all away?"

"This, this great, amazing future you've created for yourself that's slowly becoming unattainable with all of these setbacks and.." Miku just took a deep breath," I think you really were wasting your time with me."Instead of going against Miku's words, he simply put deep thought into them.

"I know I love you, really I do..It's just I can't constantly let myself be a burden to you. Not only am I making my own reputation worse, I'm tainting your reputation in the process as well."

"You really are a good guy, but..I'm just not convinced you care. It's hard to juggle a relationship and your career and I'm suffering because I can't have a future as bright as yours and you're hurting yourself too."

"We can't go on like this."

"But Miku-"

"Maybe things will be different for us if we get serious and show them what we can really do. We can change things, if we change this outlook on everything we could.." Miku realized she was rambling to Kaito. But, before she would leave him, there was one last thing she wanted. She walked up to Kaito and gently gave him a small kiss on his forehead. She left the room with Kaito's face flushed and a small smile on her face. As she left, she saw a figure walk into Kaito's room. She wasn't a nurse as she dressed in normal clothes, but she was familiar. Miku stood there for a moment as she recognized this person as someone who she thought she'd never see at a hospital.

"Meiko?"

"I always thought I was the one who was going to get shot out of the two of us." A smooth feminine voice smirked as the figure Miku saw entered the room.

"Why come now?" Kaito asked, with a indifferent tone.

"Didn't you know? I have a concert in town tomorrow night."

Kaito sighed and said something after a few moments.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Excuse me?"

"For giving the record label your recording?"

"Is that why I haven't heard from you in forever? Because you thought I was mad?"

Kaito didn't do anything but advert his eyes from the girl.

"Kaito, you made my dreams come true. I thought you'd be mad at _me_ for abandoning you." As she said this, she sat herself on the edge of Kaito's bed.

"I could never get mad at you." Kaito said.

"Please stay, Meiko."

Meiko leaned in for a kiss to keep Kaito quiet.

Miku was in front of her keyboard, the sheet music for Meiko's instrumental song on one side of her and newly made lyrics for the song on the other side. She took one final deep breath before she played.

_A disappointment I was regarded as,_

_so where am I to find a good future? _

_I realized I was known as scum_

_Being targeted over and over again _

_I hid myself away _

After the song was finished being played for the first time, Miku felt estatic. All of her emotions all of her pent-up, hidden feelings, were turned into a melody of her own. But it didn't have to be her own for long.

A few weeks later, the girls of Miku's grade confronted her once more.

"So Miku, living the single life again?" Their little leader asked.

Miku slowly shook her head popped a bubble with her gum.

"I'm not alone." She said as she caught a faint reflection of the other her in one of the lockers.

She yelled, "And, for your information, I'm only just getting started!"

* * *

*** Song lyrics belong to Hashimoto-P **


End file.
